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Today I undertook some major projects at home. The biggest one…which is taking a lot of time..and energy is finding places for the boxes in our closet to make room for the closet to be a place for dirty cloths…and possible an ironing board for when Katie comes home. In addition I put up the white board…which I already LOVE…and a number of other small things which I know will make Katie smile when she comes home.

I couldn’t help but tell Katie some small surprises…like about the pillow’s and whiteboard…but I kinda planned on it…because I make a lot of suprises for her…so telling her some of the small ones won’t take away from all the other things I’ve worked on.

In The Superior Man today I read about how “woman are always testing their man to find out how strong they are”…I can certainly relate and feel the truth of this. The thought of it is only painful because I feel that I’ve failed so many of Katie’s tests…but I’m going to stop failing those tests…because Katie needs to know that she can trust me. I’m constantly thinking of new ways in which I can show Katie why she should trust me…because I know that this is going to be a major issue when she comes back…I think the small things I know I can do are to keep on journaling…reading…piano…dishes…teeth…showing her I can commit and follow through with those parts of my life will be actions that Katie and look at and see trust.

The other big one is exercising alone…and with Katie on a consistent basis…I’m looking forward to this one…to feeling my body change…to be proud of my body changes…to feel like I’ve earned it…

I saw a commercial that REALLY disturbed me on CNN today…it was for an agency that creates “casual sexual hookups” for women who “can’t get a divorce”…it just sickened me so so so so so much…I couldn’t believe such an agency existed…much less that CNN would be in such desperate shape financially that they would run an ad for such a business. I wish Katie could have watched it with me…so I could have voiced my disgust and heard hers as well…

Other than that it was a pretty slow day…I know that tomorrow is going to be a lot busier.


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